Thoughts on learning styles and how they might be expressed though love and grief.
A one-sentence history of learning styles:
Neil Fleming of New Zealand developed theVARK system of learning styles, which was based upon Bandler and Grinder’s VAK system and Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
V,A, and K stand for these learning styles:
I’ve heard it said that a person’s learning style may be revealed by their word choice. For example:
Visual- “I see what you mean”
Auditory- “I hear what you’re saying”
Kinesthetic- “Lets get moving”
As I counsel clients who have lost loved ones, I’ve noticed a pattern of grief being expressed in similar terms. I wonder if we feel (and miss) love in Visual, Auditory, and Kinesthetic terms that relate to our learning styles. For example:
Visual- I’d give anything just to see my mother’s smile one more time.
Auditory- I long to hear my Dad say my name with excitement as he always did when I called.
Kinesthetic- How I wish I could have my mom’s arms around me again.
I’d like to give credit for my “Visual” example above. I was struck by a comment that my friend, Melissa, made while remembering her dear mother in her blog post about Mother’s Day:
“I started to remember how much I loved sharing life with my mama. And how much she would love seeing me as a Mama. Giving her kisses. Using her petnames and phrases. Laughing her laugh. Making her recipes for my children, the same way she did for me. Even using a Kitchen Aid mixer, just like she did. And I just wish that I could pick up the phone and call her. Or see her smile one more time.”
Well said, Melissa.
I’ve never read about this love/grief application of learning styles anywhere and I’d be interested in what you think!